CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO LESSONS
ON BEING CONSIDERATE!
The American Heritage College dictionary defines
inconsiderate as:
1. Thoughtless of others; heedless.
2. Not well considered or carefully thought out; ill-advised.
It's easy enough to site examples of inconsideration
for in all likelihood we've been guilty of it from time to time. Without
thinking, we've left our grocery cart parked in the middle of the aisle while
musing over which box of cereal to buy. Or on the freeway someone just
ahead of us, to the left or right, signals to move into our lane. We ignore
it while speeding up just enough to let the car behind us deal with it. These
are minor examples of our inconsideration of others.
Moving up the scale of inconsideration is the
able-bodied motorist who pulls into a handicapped parking space because he or
she is just going to be in Walgreens for a minute or two. But worse than
an able-bodied person depriving some octogenarian of a handicapped parking space
is the well-meaning soul who thinks it's a good idea to give her Sunday School
teacher a cat for Christmas!1
At the top of the scale of inconsideration is
the guy who was suspected of having tuberculosis and yet made the decision to
take an international flight. Granted, the guy didn't feel sick but, in
general, TB is a transmittable disease. Furthermore, if someone on board
had a compromised immune system his decision to board the plane could easily
have cost someone their life. Or perhaps it is the person who has a healthy
organ to give and neglects to make the necessary arrangements on their driver's
license so as to donate it to someone in desperate need of it.2
I bring this to your attention because the Bible
makes it clear that all of us, man or woman, are to be considerate of others. For
example, in Titus 3:1 - 3 we read:
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and
authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander
no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all
men.
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient,
deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice
and envy, being hated and hating one another.
In the context of the real world where many are "foolish,
disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures" we
are reminded to be considerate of others.
Then in James 3:17 - 18 we read:
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first
of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good
fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a
harvest of righteousness.
In this war-torn world we are challenged to be "peacemakers
who sow in peace." I'm convinced that we cannot "sow in peace" without
heavenly wisdom that, in part, is characterized by being considerate of others. And
usually, that means being considerate of others who we may be in sharp disagreement
with at the time.
It is interesting to note that in Titus, as well
as James, the Greek word translated as "considerate" is sometimes translated
as "gentle." The connection between the two lies in the fact
that gentleness is the appropriate expression of that which we have carefully
considered. Of course, just because we have carefully considered something
doesn't mean we will automatically be gentle toward others for gentleness is
always a choice.
Let me tell you of a biblical couple who are both
well-informed and yet what the husband does about it is very harsh while his
wife gives a considered and gentle response to the same individual. We
find the story in I Samuel 25. In vv. 1 - 11 we read:
Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and
mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah.
Then David moved down into the Desert of Maon. 2
A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He
had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3
His name was Nabal and his wife's name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and
beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.
While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal
was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, "Go
up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: 'Long life
to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is
yours!
"'Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time.
When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time
they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants
and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we
come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever
you can find for them.'"
When David's men arrived, they gave Nabal this
message in David's name. Then they waited.
Nabal answered David's servants, "Who is
this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their
masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat
I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows
where?"
I believe Nabal (Na' bal), whose name means "foolish",
knew what David had done for him. He also knew of David's need to nourish
himself and his men. He was well-informed, but his name was indicative
of his nature. So when David asked for provisions this man not only refused
to share his abundance he did so in such a way as to show that he had absolutely
no regard for David and his men.
If you have ever been hungry, really hungry, you
can imagine David's response to this man. He was livid! Immediately,
he mounted an army of 400 men with the sole intent of wiping Nabal off the face
of the earth.
In the meantime, one of the servants told Abigail,
Nabal's wife, of how her husband had treated David's men. We pick up the
story in vv. 18 - 31. We read:
Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves
of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain,
a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded
them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll
follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
As she came riding her donkey into a mountain
ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21
David had just said, "It's been useless-all my watching over this fellow's
property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back
evil for good. 22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by
morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"
When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her
donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. 24 She
fell at his feet and said: "My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please
let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 May
my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name-his
name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not
see the men my master sent.
"Now since the LORD has kept you, my master,
from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the
LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master
be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to
my master, be given to the men who follow you. 28 Please forgive your servant's
offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because
he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you
live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life
of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your
God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a
sling. 30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised
concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, 31 my master will
not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of
having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember
your servant."
As Abigail knelt before David, his heart began
to soften. He accepted her gifts, praised her for being so considerate
and called off the assault.
When there are so many fools in this world, it
is good to have people like Abigail around when we need them. Even churches
need to have men and women like Abigail who know how to avert a disaster.3
But what weapons did she use to disarm David and
his men? Well, they certainly weren't the weapons we normally think of
as weapons. They weren't the weapons of this world. They were the
weapons that every believer has at his or her disposal.
First, she humbled herself before David and his
men and apologized on behalf of her husband. She was innocent herself,
yet she bowed and asked David's forgiveness on behalf of those who were close
to her.
Second, there was a gentleness about her. Proverbs
15:1 says,
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
In the face of adversity, Abigail acted with the
wisdom that comes from heaven. She offered David and his men the provisions
they had requested and gently asked him to spare her husband.
Third, as already noted above, she offered restitution. She
didn't run out to meet him with simply a mouth full of words. She knew
he and his men had a genuine need and she took the time to meet it.
Fourth, she was sincere. She was truly sympathetic
to the wrong David had suffered at the foolishness of her husband.
Fifth, she was swift to respond so as to prevent
a disaster in the making. She didn't dawdle until things were way out of
control.
It can be argued, of course, that Abigail was
way out of line as she undermined her husband's authority. Perhaps, and
I've argued that way in the past and may do so in the future. But while
she may not have been doctrinally on target, her wisdom averted a very
real disaster.
What does all of this have to do with our study
in I Peter? Good question! But if you will look at I Peter 3:7 you
will see that this issue of being considerate, of being gentle, has a lot to
do with what it takes for a marriage, or for any close relationship, to be a
healthy one. We read:
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you
live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as
heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your
prayers.
Likewise, just as wives have a role within the
social fabric of a marriage, husbands have a role. Their role is to be
considerate of their wife. The Greek phrase, which is not the same as the
Greek word in Titus and James, that is translated "considerate" is
literally "according to knowledge." Husbands are to know their
wife well enough so as to express a gentleness toward her in full knowledge of
who she is emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
The wisdom of consideration, obviously, has its
positive long term effects. After all, it brings delight and warmth into
a marriage that will strengthen the relationship. This is not the simple
law of "cause and effect" in action, it is the more profound law of "sowing
and reaping" in action. Sowing and reaping is all about what we will
ultimately end up with in our marriage, or be stuck with, if we sow this or that
particular behavior or attitude.
But Peter tells us that our failure as husbands
to be considerate of our wife can and will have an immediate impact on one very
important aspect of our life. He says, our failure to be considerate will
be a prayer buster. After all, how can a husband bow before God with full
assurance of being heard if he is out of step with God's will in the second most
important relationship in his life?
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with
one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because
to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, "Whoever
would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips
from deceitful speech. 11 He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek
peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and
his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those
who do evil."
Peter has addressed slaves, wives, and husbands. He
now addresses everyone else and while he has prayer busters on his mind he reminds
us that our Lord is attentive to the prayers of the righteous but turns his face
against those who do evil.
1 All kidding aside, when Linda and I were taking care
of her aunt, who was in her eighties, the one thing we could have done for
her, but didn't, was to give her a cat to take care of during the day. This
would have been good therapy for her.
2 I confess that Linda has done this but I have not given
it much thought.
3 Benjamin Franklin (1725 - 1802) is credited
with saying, "The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a
wise man is in his heart."
PETER: THE MAN AND HIS LETTERS 2/24/08 1
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO LESSONS