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THE SHOCKING REALITY OF LOVE!

What I discovered on that day was no minor thing. It wasn’t like a nick in the door of a new car, a nick seen only by the proud owner. It wasn’t a wrong move in some game that made winning a bit more difficult, but not out of reach. It wasn’t simply a matter of a different way of doing something around the house. No, this was a bona fide flaw.
It surprised me, even though in hind sight, I should have seen it earlier. But some how I had missed seeing it and the discovery of it was a bit shocking. After all, Linda and I had been married for two years. I had examined the goods every single day again and again during that time and yet I had not seen it. But when I saw it on that day their was no doubt in my mind that I had married a flawed creature. Admittedly, a beautiful creature but the stark reality was now abundantly clear – she had a definite flaw.
Since that rather sobering day, I’ve discovered a second flaw. Its discovery wasn’t a 9.8 on the Richter scale, but it was enough to rattle my teeth. I mean the discovery of a second flaw, to anyone who knows anything about earthquakes, suggest that maybe there are more lurking beneath the surface. So now, after nearly 40 years of being married to the same woman who, as I’ve discovered, is not the woman I thought I married, I’m thinking that I’ve married someone with multiple flaws!
This shocking reality hit Solomon one night as he came home rather late and discovered that he had misplaced his house key. No problem, his wonderful wife was home and, even though it was quite late, she would open up the door for him and welcome him into her arms. Wrong!
Instead, in 5:2 - 3, we read:
I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My lover is knocking:
“Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night.”
I have taken off my robe –
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet –
must I soil them again?
Some commentators will tell you that there is no way to tell when this little scene actually took place – whether it happened before the marriage or after it. That’s silly, anyone with common sense knows full well that this took place after the marriage. In the book itself the Holy Spirit placed it after the consummation of the marriage. To me this alone is sufficient reason to conclude that, in reality, it took place after the wedding. Furthermore, it is clear that Solomon still saw the Shulammite girl as flawless and so it is my guess, my educated guess, that this all happened about two years after the wedding – give or take a few months.
Then, before we look at the details, we need to note that it may be somewhat surprising to some to have this as the next scene in this romantic song. After all, the Song isn’t all that long and so its author undoubtedly needed to be selective as to what aspects were to be highlighted. So you’d think the next snapshot, after the wedding, would be of the new home or maybe the birth of their first child. Instead, the author reveals something that some would say is fit only for the tabloids, not the Bible.
But the Bible never shies away from reality. It never paints us as flawless creatures, not even the former Miss September! It paints us as we are – warts and all. And it does so for good reason, so that we will face our true nature. For only when we face ourselves as we are in reality, only as we turn to the One who can save us, is there any hope for our tomorrows.
And, in regards to the Shulammite woman, the shocking reality is – she is a flawed creature. Her lover, her beloved, knocked at the door late at night. He was evidently in some degree of physical discomfort. HIs hair was drenched with dew, the night was damp and he was in need of warmth – physically and probably emotionally. He knocked and must have been shocked by the girl’s response.
The readiness of the girl to respond to her beloved in earlier scenes is now replaced with insensitivity. She had readied herself for bed, she had removed her makeup, washed her face, undressed, and had, as the last step before getting into bed, washed her feet. To get up now, for anyone, even if she had been wide awake, would be an inconvenience. Indeed, when her lover knocked she considered it too much trouble even for him!
Now maybe she was just playing hard to get. Giving him a picture of her unclothed body between the sheets and then acting like she wasn’t going to unlock the door for him. Maybe she was just giving him a hard time for the sheer fun of it. Teasing him! Perhaps, she just needed some space. And this was her way of telling him that right now she needed to be by herself. Or maybe, she had determined to let this guy know that she didn’t intend to be at his beck and call regardless of day or night.
Whatever the case, what we have here is a definite flaw - the flaw of insensitivity. Granted it is a very common one, but it is one that Solomon didn’t expect to find in the Shulammite girl – especially when he was standing out in the cold damp night! And if God has a sense of irony, it was probably in the middle of September.
In the meantime, we read:
My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.
I arose to open for my lover,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
on the handles of the lock.
I opened for my lover,
but my lover had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
(My soul went out to him, or from me, at his departure.)
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called out to him but he did not answer.
In Solomon’s day, eastern doors had the lock on the inside and there was an opening where the owner could, if he or she had a key, reach in and unlock the door. But if you didn’t have a key, if you were a lover who had come to visit, you could cover the lock with sweet-smelling ointments as a sign that you had stopped by to see the one you loved. So Solomon left her a “love note” of myrrh, an affectionate reminder that he had come to her.
And yet, it appears that he didn’t stick around very long. Maybe, as a flawed creature himself, he became impatient and chose to leave rather than hang around and reveal his anger. But this story isn’t about Solomon, it’s about the girl. It’s about her flaws, not his. So let’s stick to the story and not allow ourselves to get sidetracked. After all, why would we want to look at potential flaws within the male species when we have a bona fide flawed female in front of us?
When the girl discovered the “love note” she threw on some clothes, including her cloak, and went out into the night looking for her lover. (You will recall that she did this once before so maybe she was a bit too impulsive as well as insensitive!) At any rate, she went out into the night and ran into two distinct groups of people. We read:
The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!
O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
if you find my lover,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.
How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you charge us so?
The first group that found her, was the night watchmen. They must have mistaken her for one of the loose women of the night. Whatever the case, they left her battered, bruised, shivering, and half-naked. We are left to wonder what happened to those night watchmen when Solomon was told of their abusive behavior.
The other group that found her was the daughters of Jerusalem. That group of women that seem to always be hanging around just off stage. At this point, it appears that the girl was somewhat distraught and preferred that the daughters of Jerusalem find Solomon. She charged them, after considering what to say to her lover, to tell him that she was “faint with love.” He, she was sure, would know what she meant.
Now I want you to note the wisdom of the daughters of Jerusalem. They could’ve easily scolded the girl or condemned her for her impulsive behavior. But this was no time to lecture someone who was too worried about her lover, as well as her own behavior. A lecture would have done little good.
Instead, the daughters of Jerusalem did a very wise thing. They knew the girl had not simply been beaten up by the night watchmen but had evidently been beating up herself. So instead of dumping on her, they redirected her thinking! What is more, they did it in the form of a question. A question that compelled the girl to list what she liked about her lover. Beginning in 5:10 we read:
My lover is radiant and ruddy,
outstanding among ten thousand.
His head is purest gold;
his hair is wavy
and black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves
by the water streams,
washed (bathed) in milk,
(perched over a pool.)
mounted like jewels.
His cheeks are like beds of spice
yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
dripping with myrrh.
His arms are rods of gold
set with chrysolite.
His body is like polished ivory
decorated with sapphires.
His legs are pillars of marble
set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
choice as its cedars.
His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my lover, this my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem.
The daughters of Jerusalem wisely directed the Shulammite girl’s attention away from herself, away from her bruised body and battered soul, and away from her fear of loss. As she answered their question she turned away from her troubles toward the only thing that could really help her at this time – a fresh appreciation of her lover!
As the girl thought about the one she loved, she complimented ten aspects of her beloved. So in a very real sense, to her he was indeed a “ten.” She reminded herself of what was important to her. May we do the same with those we love!

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