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THE CHOICES OF LOVE!

A postulate in geometry is a statement which is accepted as true without proof. In my high school geometry text the first two postulates are:
Postulate # 1 One straight line, and only one, can be drawn through two points.
Postulate # 2 Two straight lines cannot intersect in more than one point.
And the nineteenth postulate is:
Postulate # 19 Two straight lines in the same plane are either parallel or intersecting lines.
In geometry you makes choices as to what is true and based on these choices you prove theorems, which in turn are used to prove other theorems. These theorems are then used to solve problems that involve geometric figures. Now whether you enjoyed geometry in high school or hated it, there is a great lesson to be learned from it. It is simply this: In life we make our choices, and those choices turn around and make us.
My twin sister chose to get married when she was a senior in high school. She chose to quit school and marry the young man of her dreams. It wasn’t long before she learned that she had married someone who was abusive verbally and probably physically. Before this nightmare ended in divorce she had two kids and no high school diploma.
To earn a living, she served drinks in one of the local bars and in that environment she met her next four husbands. She never blamed anyone for the choices she made in life, but it is clear that her choices turned around and made her life one sporadic nightmare after another.
When my sister was choosing to quit high school and get married, I was choosing to attend ASU. It wasn’t that I was consciously making a good choice. It was only because the other two choices, finding a job or joining the service, were not all that appealing.
Then, when I applied to ASU there was a blank space to be filled in on the registration form asking for my major field of study. Well, the only thing I was halfway good at was mathematics and so I printed the word “math.” I made choices, not consciously or deliberately, but simply because I was compelled to make them and those choices turned around and made me.
In Genesis we have the story of another set of twins, Esau and Jacob, the two sons of Isaac and Rebecca. Esau was the oldest and was destined to receive the blessing of his father. But Jacob, at the prompting of his mother, deceived Isaac into giving him the blessing. When Esau discovered what his brother had done, he was angry enough to kill him. If he had done so, the courts undoubtedly would’ve ruled it as justifiable homicide for his brother was a dirty rotten selfish sneak.
So Jacob fled the scene of the crime. He ran straight to his uncle Laban who had two daughters; Leah and Rachel. He took one look at the younger daughter, Rachel, and chose to stop running. It wasn’t long before he and his uncle negotiated a labor contract. If his uncle would give Rachel to him as his wife, then he would serve him for seven full years. His uncle agreed and they shook hands on the deal – there was no need to formally write out a contract for this was business within the family.
But seven years later the trickster was tricked by his no good uncle. He was given Leah, much to his surprise, instead of Rachel. The uncle explained why he had done what he had done and Jacob, with no good options before him, chose to work another seven years for Rachel. This proves that when you are in love you will do anything, regardless of how silly it may seem to the watching world!
At any rate, after about twenty years good old uncle Laban and Jacob started to get underneath each other’s skin. Jacob had overstayed his welcome and Laban was ready for him to go back home. The trouble was, Jacob wasn’t anxious to go back and face Esau. But, like it or not, it was clearly time to leave and so Jacob, his two wives, his servants, and all the kids packed up and fled in the middle of the night.
Remember Esau? Remember how angry he was when Jacob stole his birthright from him? Do you remember that he was angry enough to kill his brother? Well, you may not remember all that, but it haunted Jacob. For in heading back home, Jacob realized that you cannot outrun your choices. You make choices and those choices either come back to bless you or haunt you.
In this case, it was the latter scenario. And since Jacob feared retribution, well-deserved retribution, he sent messengers ahead of him seeking to find favor with his brother Esau. But when the messengers returned saying Esau was coming to meet him accompanied by 400 (armed) men, Jacob knew that his past was about to catch up with him. To minimize the risk to himself and his family he divided all he had into two camps. If Esau and his men attacked one camp, the other camp could flee for their lives. After forming the two camps, Jacob prayed like he had never prayed in his life. He prayed as if he was at the end of his rope for he was about to be at the end of a rope!
But the next morning, instead of attacking Jacob, Esau ran forward and embraced him. This event was so important in the history of Israel that the site of the two camps was thereafter known as Mahanaim (pronounced makh an ah’ yeem). In Hebrew, as you can guess, the word means two camps. It was where a possible battleground became the site of a heartfelt reunion.
I mention all of this because in the Song of Songs, Solomon and the Shulammite girl have made choices and those choices have turned around to haunt them. The girl chose to stay under the covers when her husband, her lover, knocked at the door wanting shelter from the dampness of the night. At the time, she didn’t want to be bothered by him or anyone else. It wasn’t convenient for her to jump out of bed after washing her feet and so she chose not to be at his beck and call.
Solomon, on the other hand, chose to be impatient on that night. Instead of sticking around, he took off into the middle of the night. Sure, he left a “love note” but he was in no mood to play games and he certainly wasn’t going to wait around while the girl went back to sleep. Besides, he had other places he could find shelter and even comfort if he so desired it.
So what we have in chapter five is the first spat between the two lovers. As tiffs go, this certainly doesn’t appear to be on the same scale as the one between Esau and Jacob. But, when newly weds have their first real disagreement it certainly seems like it is on the same scale as some of the major feuds in history. And so, while we might view it as a minor squabble, I suspect our two lovers saw it as a major rift in their relationship.
Unbeknownst to Solomon, the daughters of Jerusalem, had already redirected the girl’s thinking. They had said to her:
How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you charge us (to find him)?
They directed the girl’s attention away from herself and toward the one she loved. As she answered their question her fear of loss was replaced with a fresh appreciation for Solomon. So she had already recommitted herself to him. She was beyond beating herself up, at being angry with him, and was ready to embrace him and ask for his forgiveness.
We pick up the story in chapter six. We read:
Where has your lover gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your lover turn,
that we may look for him with you?
My lover has gone down to the garden,
to the beds of spices,
to browse in the gardens
and to gather lilies.
I am my lover’s and my lover is mine;
he browses among the lilies.
Here the girl’s response is somewhat enigmatic. But what is clear is that she is no longer fearful of loss. She is secure within herself and within the relationship. She knows they belong to each other and belong together, even though they have quarreled. Now that she was thinking clearly, she realized that he must have gone down to the garden - a place of retreat, a private world where one can think things out.
Unbeknownst to the girl, Solomon had already thought things out. Picking up the story in v. 4, we read:
You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah,
lovely as Jerusalem,
majestic as troops with banners.
Turn your eyes from me;
they overwhelm me.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of sheep
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin,
not one of them is alone.
Your temples (parted lips) behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
Sixty queens there may be,
and eighty concubines,
and virgins without number;
but my dove, my perfect one, is unique,
the only daughter of her mother,
the favorite of the one who bore her.
The maidens saw her and called her blessed;
the queens and concubines praised her.
Who is this that appears like the dawn,
fair as the moon, bright as the sun,
majestic as the the stars in procession?
As Solomon thought about the Shulammite girl he again praised her hair, her smile, and her lips. But more importantly, he chose her all over again. We see this in vv. 8 & 9 where the New Living Translation reads:
There may be sixty wives, all queens, and eighty concubines and unnumbered virgins available to me. But I would still choose (and do choose) my dove, my perfect one, the only beloved daughter of her mother!
We make choices and those choices turn around and make us. But some of those choices need to be made again and again for we live in a culture where we are constantly bombarded with other choices - choices that sometimes appear to be more attractive. And it is up to us to remind ourselves of what is truly beautiful and make our initial choice all over again.
We now come to the moment of reconciliation between the two. We read:
I went down to the grove of nut trees
to look at the new growth in the valley,
to see if the vines had budded
or the pomegranates were in bloom.
Before I realized it,
my desire set me among the royal chariots
of my people.
Before he realized it, Solomon was on cloud nine. He had chosen the Shulammite all over again and suddenly realized that forgiveness had taken hold of his heart.
Now I want you to take special note of the last verse in this chapter. It reads:
Daughters of Jerusalem
Come back, come back, O Shulammite;
come back, come back, that we may gaze on you!
Solomon
Why would you gaze on the Shulammite;
as on the dance of Mahanaim?
(as on the dance of the two camps?)
The dance of the two camps first celebrated the reconciliation of the twins, Esau and Jacob. It was a defining moment for the nation of Israel. This too is a defining moment for Solomon and Shulamith, as she was called for the first time in the song. It was a defining moment for they have chosen, at a time when they could have gone their separate ways, to recommit themselves to each other. They have chosen each other all over again. If marriages are to last, we must make some choices again and again and they will turn around and make us a testament to God’s power within us.

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