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THE PLAYFULNESS OF LOVE!

In this first scene, found in Genesis 38, the girl was sitting alongside the road that led to Timnah. She was waiting for a particular man to come by and when he did, she planned to lure him into a well-planned trap. A trap that played on man’s propensity for instant sexual gratification. Up to this point, her family had been playing games with her and she was tired of it. So she conceived of a way to turn the tables on them.
Her name was Tamar and she had been married to Judah’s first born son when Judah erred by marrying a Canaanite girl. Naturally, their first born was named Er. But God took Er out and left Tamar, through no fault of her own, without a husband. Consequently, the burden fell on the second born, Onan, to produce children through Tamar.
But Onan knew the child would not be counted as his, so he regularly practiced birth control whenever he laid with Tamar. He laid with her, as required by law, as required by his father, but habitually spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. This was another error within this dysfunctional family and so God took Onan out just as he had taken Er out. In a very real sense, Tamar was again left without a husband.
So Judah promised to give his third born son to Tamar just as soon as the boy was old to enough to put into practice what he had learned about the birds and the bees. But Judah never followed through on his promise and, or so he thought, for good reason. He didn’t give his third born to Tamar because Tamar’s luck with men seemed to be all bad.
So Tamar devised a plan that would put an end to this game once and for all. When she learned that Judah was on his way to Timnah she removed her widow’s clothes and dressed as a prostitute. She then sat down alongside the road and waited for you know who, knowing full well that he would at least consider the bait.
He did, and he went for it. They negotiated back and forth for a few minutes and Judah ended up promising her a young goat from his flock. But as someone who had learned not to trust others, the girl required that he leave some sort of pledge until the goat was sent to her. So he took out his driver’s license and credit card and handed the two items to her. She took them and performed her part of the bargain. And, to his credit, Judah did send the goat a few days later but the girl was no where to be found.
Three months later, after the first trimester, Judah learned that his daughter-in-law was pregnant. He knew his third born had nothing to do with it and so he was furious for Tamar must have been sleeping around with other men. He was about to go through the roof when Tamar produced his driver’s license and credit card. As she did so, she said, “the man who owns these is the father of my child.” The game was over, and it wasn’t a whole lot of fun for anyone.
In this second scene, found in Judges 16, we have a valley girl and a playboy by the name of Kid Samson. The girl, Delilah, was a sensuous woman who had recently been tagged as the Philistine Playmate of the month. She lived and worked in what was known as the Gaza strip and Samson had made the mistake of going down to the strip where he soon fell in love with this valley girl.
Delilah, as we’d expect, professed to love Samson, but what she really loved was money. In fact, she loved money so much that she agreed to accept $5,000 from a group of radical Philistines in exchange for luring Samson into revealing the source of his great strength. So with the money dangling in front of her she determined to use her seductive powers to obtain the needed information.
The stage, of course, was set for disaster. Samson was in enemy-held territory. He, who was morally flippant, had gone to Las Vegas and found a playmate. For him, it was all part of simply having a good time. But Delilah recognized that it was an opportunity to enhance her bank account. She saw it as a good time to trade love, or what Samson thought was love, in for cash. He was about to discover the hard way how persistent, and deadly, the enemy can be when given the right opportunity.
So Delilah, the gold-digger, started playing the game of Twenty Question with Samson. Kid Samson, of course, naively thought that it was just that – a game. So he played along with her and gave her misleading answers. Three times he made her look foolish in front of her peers. Finally, she pulled out her two best weapons. Weapons that have the ability to reduce any man to an eager willingness to tell all. She started shedding tears as she nagged him about the source of his great strength.
In the face of these two weapons, tears coupled with nagging, he spilled out his deepest secret to Delilah and betrayed his commitment to God. The game was over and Delilah had won despite some initial setbacks. Kid Samson, right up until the bitter end, saw it as just a silly game. But for Delilah it was never a game, it was all business. It was never about love, it was about making a living.
In the next scene, found in II Samuel 11, we find a man all alone wanting to play a game, any game, with someone. As he paced his penthouse, he looked down and saw a woman bathing. As the King of Israel, as someone who had the power to do just about anything he wanted to do, he had one of his servants fetch her as he freshened up.
When she was brought to him, he may have initially played a game with her - Dominos, Parcheesi, or a simple game of cards. We have no evidence of that, but it is certainly possible. But what we know for sure is that before the night was over he laid with Bathsheba. It wasn’t too long down the road when she discovered that she was pregnant with King David’s baby. It certainly wasn’t her husband’s child for he had been in Iraq for the last four months.
It was at that moment that the real games began playing themselves out. The first game involved deceit, manipulation, outright lies, and finally murder. It was the game between David and Uriah that eventually involved Joab in a plot to kill Uriah. Uriah was a good man. He was a loyal soldier and the devoted husband of Bathsheba. But, he had no chance of winning a game where he didn’t even know the rules or the purpose of the game that was being played out.
Then there was a game that involved confrontation, confession, judgment, and restoration. It was the game between David and God that eventually involved a courageous man by the name of Nathan. Nathan boldly confronted David with his sin of adultery. To David’s credit he submitted to the game. He confessed his sin, accepted the consequences, and his relationship with God was restored. But neither game was one that he wanted to play again.
The games mentioned in the above scenarios all involve two people – a man and a woman. They were all played out in the context of sexual activity. The rules that should have governed such activity were either twisted, ignored, or broken to suit one’s own purposes. Judah and Tamar twisted the rules for sexual activity. Samson ignored them, and David broke them to satisfy himself.
In each case, in each of the three scenarios, we don’t find anyone laughing. We don’t find anyone having a good time. Samson may have thought he was having a good time, but in reality it was a trying time. Nor do we find any hint of relaxation or playfulness between the participants. Instead nearly everyone involved was quite serious, sometimes deadly serious!
Contrast the above scenarios with chapter 7 of the Song of Songs. Again we have two participants engaged in sexual activity. This time, however, the activity is in the context of marriage. You’ll note, as I’ve noted, that the scene is every bit as sensuous as the above scenes, perhaps more so. However, what we’ll find missing is deceit, manipulation, tears, and wounded souls. Instead we find two people very comfortable with each other. In fact, we will find a playfulness within the chapter as the Shulammite girl teases Solomon. We read:
Lover
How beautiful (are) your (dance steps) sandaled feet,
O prince’s daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
the work of a craftsman’s hands.
Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies.
Your breast are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.
Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry;
the king is held captive by its tresses.
How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
O love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breast like clusters of fruit.
I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breast be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.
Beloved
May the wine go straight to my lover,
flowing gently over lips and teeth.
I belong to my lover,
and his desire is for me.
Come, my lover, let us go the countryside (and play),
let us spend the night in the villages (fields).
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom –
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my lover.
The initial spat between the two has long since been forgotten, the two lovers have forgiven each other and their intimate relationship has been restored. They now have a deeper appreciation for each other. The two take great delight in each other. They are supremely comfortable with one another.
But what is interesting to note is that the girl invites Solomon to come out and play. She invites him away from his responsibilities where she will show him a thing or two about love. Do you sense some competitiveness here? I do, but it has a friendly playful spirit about it. This is a game in the best sense of the word. It is playful and it full of joy.
As most of you know, Linda and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary this summer. We have planned a Caribbean cruise that will take us to Key West, Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Half Moon Cay (Bahamas). When so many others are going to Kosova, Papua New Guinea, and Russia on the King’s business I almost feel the need to apologize. But intimate relationships need to be nurtured as much as others need to be invited to have an intimate relationship with Christ. And where better to nurture love than off the Florida coast where we might even see some mandrakes!

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