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A CONVERSATION BETWEEN GOD AND BALAAM!
I know very little about Ringgold Lardner. I
know his friends called him "Ring." I know that he lived from
1885 to 1933. I know he was seen as an American humorist who was best
known for his satirical short stories. Here is the beginning of one entitled "On
Conversation." It reads:
The other night I happened to be coming back from Wilmington, Del. to wherever
I was going and was sitting in the smoking compartment or whatever they now
call the wash room and overheard a conversation between two fellows who we
will call Mr. Butler and Mr. Hawkes. Both of them seemed to be from the
same town and I only wished I could repeat the conversation verbatim but the
best I can do is to report it from memory. The fellows evidently had
not met for some three to fifteen years as the judges say.
"Well," said Mr. Hawkes, "if this isn't Dick Butler!"
"Well," said Mr. Butler, "if it isn't Dale Hawkes."
"Well, Dick," said Hawkes, "I never expected to meet you on
this train."
"No," replied Butler. "I genally always take Number 28. I
just took this train this evening because I had to be in Wilmington today."
"Where are you headed for?" asked Hawkes.
"Well, I am going to the big town," said Butler.
"So am I, and I am certainly glad we happened to be in the same car."
It seemed funny to both of them but they successfully concealed it so far as
facial expression was concerned. After a pause Hawkes spoke again:
"How long since you been back in Lansing?"
"Me?" replied Butler. "I ain't been back there for 12
years."
"I ain't been back there either myself for ten years. How long since
you been back there?"
"I ain't been back there for twelve years."
"I ain't been back there myself for ten years. Where are you headed
for?"1
As of page one the reader has learned just about
all they are going to learn about these two, other than the fact that they
are on their way to New York. Again and again Mr. Butler tells Mr. Hawkes
that he "ain't been back there (Lansing) for 12 years" and Mr. Hawkes
tells Mr. Butler that "he ain't been back there myself for ten years."
The two gentlemen had a conversation with each
other, but they weren't listening to each other. To listen in on their
conversation is to laugh, and to laugh is to laugh at ourselves. For
like Mr. Butler and Mr. Hawkes we too are wrapped up in our own little world
and as a result our listening skills are rather disappointing.
On a side note, Max Eastman believed that, in
general, humor always involved an element of disappointment. In this
regard he wrote,
"I do remember that I spoke of Queen Victoria,
and of how she was considered the most blue-blooded aristocrat of all the crowned
heads of Europe, and the proof of it was that when she wanted to sit down,
whenever and wherever it was, she simply sat down, trusting to God and the
chivalry of the Court of St. James that there would be a chair between her
and the floor by the time she arrived. The old lady was never, as far
as history records, disappointed. But it might have been even funnier
if she had been.
"It would not, however, have been funny
to her. And that brought me to the second principle of my science of
humor - namely, that not all disappointments are funny. It depends upon
how your feelings are involved. Humor arises when your feelings are
not seriously involved. Humor is playful disappointment - . . ."2
We can laugh when the element of disappointment
doesn't hit too close to home. What this means for us is that when we
read the story of Balaam as found in Numbers 22 - 24 we see it as a very amusing
story. But those who were close to the action, those involved in the
various conversations, those on the blunt end of disappointment, weren't laughing.3
But you and I are far removed from the action,
we're detached observers, and our feelings haven't been bruised by those involved,
so we are free to laugh. But beyond the laughter, by God's grace, we
need to have the story speak to the needs of our heart. Turning
to Numbers 22 we read:
Then the people of Israel traveled to the plains
of Moab and camped east of the Jordan River, across from Jericho. 2 Balak
son of Zippor, the Moabite king, knew what the Israelites had done to the Amorites. 3
And when they saw how many Israelites there were, he and his people were terrified. 4
The king of Moab said to the leaders of Midian, "This mob will devour
everything in sight, like an ox devours grass!"
My guess is that no one ever credited Balak
with being a motivational leader! Based on the reports he had received
from Intelligence and from what he saw with his own two eyes he exclaimed, "This
horde is going to lick up everything around us, as an ox licks up the grass
in the field."
Instantly, his observation was picked up by
the media and before the day was over Moab had a vivid image of what Israel
was going to do to them. Thanks to their king, Israel was portrayed as
someone filled with strength and power, someone who could devour them as easily
as an ox devours grass.
Alarmed, but not yet whipped, Balak decided
to use the greatest weapon known to man; the spoken word. Hence, he sent
for the one man who had an international reputation built on his ability
to curse, or bless, others. The man's fee for his spiritual work of divination,
so thought the king, would be well worth it. Hence, he immediately
sent others to hire Balaam son of Beor. Picking up the story in v. 4b,
we read:
So Balak, king of Moab, 5 sent
messengers to Balaam son of Beor, who was living in his native land of Pethor
near the Euphrates River. He sent this message to request that Balaam come
to help him:
"A vast horde of people has arrived from
Egypt. They cover the face of the earth and are threatening me. 6 Please come
and curse them for me because they are so numerous. Then perhaps I will be
able to conquer them and drive them from the land. I know that blessings fall
on the people you bless. I also know that the people you curse are doomed."
Balak's messengers, officials of both Moab and
Midian, set out and took money with them to pay Balaam to curse Israel. They
went to Balaam and urgently explained to him what Balak wanted. 8 "Stay
here overnight," Balaam said. "In the morning I will tell you whatever
the LORD directs me to say." So the officials from Moab stayed there with
Balaam.
That night God came to Balaam and asked him, "Who
are these men with you?"
So Balaam said to God, "Balak son of Zippor,
king of Moab, has sent me this message: 11 'A vast horde of people has
come from Egypt and has spread out over the whole land. Come at once to curse
them. Perhaps then I will be able to conquer them and drive them from the land.'"
"Do not go with them," God told Balaam. "You
are not to curse these people, for I have blessed them!"
The next morning Balaam got up and told Balak's
officials, "Go on home! The LORD will not let me go with you."
"Go home, the Lord won't let me go with
you. I'd like to, I really would, but the Lord told me not to. Sure,
I could use the money but right now it's just out of the question." Balaam,
Balaam, what are you saying? Aren't you listening? The Lord said
that he has blessed these people and you're leaving the door open. You're
saying, "The Lord won't let me go with you but . . ."
Sure enough, it wasn't too long before the same
conversation walked in dressed a little bit nicer with a better offer in hand
but carrying the same message. We read:
So the Moabite officials returned to King Balak
and reported, "Balaam refused to come with us." 15 Then Balak
tried again. This time he sent a larger number of even more distinguished officials
than those he had sent the first time. 16 They went to Balaam and
gave him this message:
"This is what Balak son of Zippor says:
Please don't let anything stop you from coming. 17 I will pay you well and
do anything you ask of me. Just come and curse these people for me!"
But Balaam answered them, "Even if Balak
were to give me a palace filled with silver and gold, I would be powerless
to do anything against the will of the LORD my God. 19 But stay here
one more night to see if the LORD has anything else to say to me."
That night God came to Balaam and told him, "Since
these men have come for you, get up and go with them. But be sure to do only
what I tell you to do."
Say what? Balaam, didn't you hear what
God said the first time? Aren't you listening? "But Lord," Balaam
answered, "their making me an offer I can't refuse. With what they
are offering I could be debt-free with enough left over to upgrade my means
of transportation."
To which the Lord replied, "Since you're
bent on going regardless of what I've already said, go ahead and go. I'll
give you what you are whining about, but do only what I tell you." So
Balaam threw a few things together and the next morning went to see Balak. Picking
up the story in v. 21 we read,
So the next morning Balaam saddled his donkey
and started off with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was furious that
Balaam was going, so he sent the angel of the LORD to stand in the road to
block his way. As Balaam and two servants were riding along, 23 Balaam's
donkey suddenly saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn
sword in his hand. The donkey bolted off the road into a field, but Balaam
beat it and turned it back onto the road. 24 Then the angel of the LORD
stood at a place where the road narrowed between two vineyard walls. 25
When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing there, it tried to squeeze
by and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall. So Balaam beat the donkey again. 26
Then the angel of the LORD moved farther down the road and stood in a place
so narrow that the donkey could not get by at all. 27 This time when
the donkey saw the angel, it lay down under Balaam. In a fit of rage Balaam
beat it again with his staff.
Then the LORD caused the donkey to speak. "What
have I done to you that deserves your beating me these three times?" it
asked Balaam.
"Because you have made me look like a fool!" Balaam
shouted. "If I had a sword with me, I would kill you!"
"But I am the same donkey you always ride
on," the donkey answered. "Have I ever done anything like this before?" "No," he
admitted.
Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw
the angel of the LORD standing in the roadway with a drawn sword in his hand.
Balaam fell face down on the ground before him.
"Why did you beat your donkey those three
times?" the angel of the LORD demanded. "I have come to block your
way because you are stubbornly resisting me. 33 Three times the donkey
saw me and shied away; otherwise, I would certainly have killed you by now
and spared the donkey."
Then Balaam confessed to the angel of the LORD, "I
have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to block my way.
I will go back home if you are against my going."
If you are displeased? Balaam! Aren't
you listening to anything God has said to you? He already told you that
he had chosen to bless Israel. He told you not to go a month ago. Nevertheless,
you asked him once again whether or not you should sign this contract. What
in the world is wrong with you? You're bent in such a manner that the
prospect of easy money is more important to you than God's will!
What's funny, and equally tragic, is that Balaam's
proverbial dumb beast saw things more clearly than his owner! He also
behaved more honorably than Balaam and he did it under more difficult circumstances. For
despite the harsh treatment he received at the hands of his master he chose
to protect him from being killed on the spot. Balaam ought to have been
laughing at himself, but we wasn't. Too bad!
1 E. B. White and Katharine E. White, Editors, A
Subtreasury of American Humor, H. Wolff Book Mfg. Co., New York, 1941, pp.
416 - 418.
2 Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laugher, Simon and Schuster,
Inc., 386 Fourth Avenue, New York, 1936, p. 8.
3 It is to be noted that Bakak's fear were completely unfounded
for in Deuteronomy 2:8b - 9 Moses said, "Then as we traveled northward
along the desert route through Moab, 9 the LORD warned us, 'Do not bother
the Moabites, the descendants of Lot, or start a war with them. I have given
them Ar as their property, and I will not give you any of their land.'"
THE JOY OF LAUGHTER 9/17/06 1
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