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A CONVERSATION BETWEEN BALAAM AND BALAK!
      In the very first paragraph of his book Enjoyment of Laughter, the first paragraph of his Introductory, Max Eastman gives us a sober warning.  He writes:
  I must warn you, reader, that is not the purpose of this book to make you laugh.  As you know, nothing kills the laugh quicker than to explain a joke.  I intend to explain all jokes, and the proper and logical outcome will be, not only that you will not laugh now, but that you will never laugh again.  So prepare for the descending gloom.1
      I read this paragraph and, I suspect, as with anyone else who picked up this book to read, kept reading.   I'm still reading his book and the more I read the more I am convinced that I should have heeded his warning.  For I now find myself analyzing why something is funny and, as warned by Mr. Eastman, that saps all the fun out of it.
      Furthermore, in this series on the Joy of Laughter, the axiom that 'nothing kills the laugh quicker than to explain a joke" presents us with a real problem.  As we look at some of the funniest stories in Scripture, and as we analyze them from the standpoint of laughter, we may very well find ourselves taking "the laugh" right out of them.
      I think that is what happened last week.  I consider Numbers 22 one of the funniest chapters in the Old Testament.  But as I tried to explain what I see as funny to you and others, it didn't seem as funny as when I simply read through Scripture for the enjoyment of reading through Scripture. 
      Maybe I was just too tired last Sunday, or maybe I have failed to adequately heed Max Eastman's warning.  Nevertheless, I cannot stop reading his book!  Consider his story of Eddie Cantor on the Auction Block.  He writes:
  "Here is a joke from one of Eddie Cantor's movie comedies, which will illustrate what we have said so far.  Eddie has been forcibly ejected from an American village for getting into an ingenious amount and variety of trouble, and while tramping the road, footsore and forsaken, suddenly finds himself on one of the causeways of imperial Rome.  Here he gets into trouble again with the usual dexterity, and is dragged to the auction block and offered for sale as a slave.  He cuts  such a sorry figure, such an undersized, limp, knock-kneed, small-town American figure, there among the imperial Romans that nobody will make any bids.  Sad, worried, and humiliated, he pleads with the crowd: 'I can work, I can wash dishes, I can mop the floors, I can take care of the children - if there aren't any children, I can take care of that.'"
      A few paragraphs later he writes,
". . . the hero begins to speak, and his words set our minds moving in a certain direction.  They are an abject plea for help, and their natural or non-jocular progress will be toward the more and more abject, or at least from one item of abjection to another. 'I  can mop, wash dishes, take care of the children - if there are no children, I can take care of the chickens, take care of the pigs, take of . . .'  That is the way the speech will continue left to its own momentum."
      But we have been led on, we've been set up, we've been playfully deprived of what we were on the verge of grasping.  But in the place of it we've been given the gift of laughter.  Incidentally, this is one way to entertain a baby, or so I'm told.  Offer him or her something they want and will reach out to get, and when it is almost within their grasp jerk it away while laughing.  Your playfulness will be contagious, unless, of course, the baby is in a really foul mood!2
      Everything we've learned about Balaam in Numbers 22 tells us that he is more stubborn than the donkey he rides.  He's a man who says, "I hear you Lord, but . . ."   When he was initially presented with the opportunity to "come and put a curse on [Israel]," for the sake of Moab, the Lord made it clear that he wasn't to accept the offer.
      But, in his reply he evidently left the door open for Balak to make a second offer.  Instead of strangling temptation at the door with a resounding "NO WAY" he gave a weak reply.  Something like, "I would like to do it, but I guess I have to say no."  In doing so, he left temptation at the door and kept it alive with milk and cookies.
      So when the delegation returned, shored up with a more distinguished group of ambassadors and the promise of a bigger payday, he choice to go with them even though he knew quite well that the Lord wasn't sold on the idea the second time around anymore than he was the first time.
      But not being a full-blown Calvinist, Balaam figured the choice was up to him.  So he saddled his donkey and left.  Before too long his donkey clearly saw that Balaam's decision on a scale of 1 - 10, with "1" being "one of the stupidest decisions anyone ever made" was about a . . . well, it was about a "1!"  In fact, if it hadn't been for the donkey's loyalty to his master the decision would have cost Balaam his life.
      Now you tell me, based on Numbers 22 do we have any reason, any reason whatsoever, to believe that Balaam will simply look into this matter and not say anything other than what the Lord tells him to say?  No!  Everything about him tells us that he is going to do what he needs to do so as to collect a handsome paycheck.
      In short, be prepared for tragedy!  Now, the only thing that makes this impending tragedy playful is that this whole story is a non-story.  Balak's fears are non-fears, his anxiety is utterly self-imposed, for in actual fact Israel had no intention of inflicting harm on Moab.  For in Deuteronomy 2:8 - 9 we read:
      So we went past our relatives, the descendants of Esau, who live in Seir, and avoided the road through the Arabah Valley that comes up from Elath and Ezion-geber. "Then as we traveled northward along the desert route through Moab,  9 the LORD warned us, 'Do not bother the Moabites, the descendants of Lot, or start a war with them. I have given them Ar as their property, and I will not give you any of their land.'"
      Nevertheless, this non-story is played out for us in Scripture.  Knowing, sensing, that chapter 22 has set us up for impending gloom in Numbers 23:1 - 12 we read:
      Balaam said, "Build me seven altars here, and prepare seven bulls and seven rams for me."  2 Balak did as Balaam said, and the two of them offered a bull and a ram on each altar.
      Then Balaam said to Balak, "Stay here beside your offering while I go aside. Perhaps the LORD will come to meet with me. Whatever he reveals to me I will tell you." Then he went off to a barren height.
      God met with him, and Balaam said, "I have prepared seven altars, and on each altar I have offered a bull and a ram."
      The LORD put a message in Balaam's mouth and said, "Go back to Balak and give him this message."
      So he went back to him and found him standing beside his offering, with all the princes of Moab.  7 Then Balaam uttered his oracle: "Balak brought me from Aram, the king of Moab from the eastern mountains. 'Come,' he said, 'curse Jacob for me; come, denounce Israel.'  8 How can I curse those whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce those whom the LORD has not denounced?  9 From the rocky peaks I see them, from the heights I view them. I see a people who live apart and do not consider themselves one of the nations.  10 Who can count the dust of Jacob or number the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and may my end be like theirs!"
      Balak said to Balaam, "What have you done to me? I brought you to curse my enemies, but you have done nothing but bless them!"
      He answered, "Must I not speak what the LORD puts in my mouth?"
      To which Balak, in unbelief said:  "You've never been known to do that in the past!  Others have paid for your services and you had no qualms about saying what needed to be said for their sake.   So why pull the rug out from under me?"
      "Well," Balaam muttered, "Let's just say that at the moment what I'm doing seems to be the path that is healthiest for all of us!"
      "Healthiest for all of us!  These people are going to stomp us into the ground and you're thinking that the healthiest thing to do is to bless them?"  Then, picking up the story in v. 13 Balak said to him,
      "Come with me to another place where you can see them; you will see only a part but not all of them. And from there, curse them for me."  14 So he took him to the field of Zophim on the top of Pisgah, and there he built seven altars and offered a bull and a ram on each altar.
      Balaam said to Balak, "Stay here beside your offering while I meet with him over there."
      The LORD met with Balaam and put a message in his mouth and said, "Go back to Balak and give him this message."
      So he went to him and found him standing beside his offering, with the princes of Moab. Balak asked him, "What did the LORD say?"
      Then he uttered his oracle: "Arise, Balak, and listen; hear me, son of Zippor.  19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?  20 I have received a command to bless; he has blessed, and I cannot change it.  21 "No misfortune is seen in Jacob, no misery observed in Israel. The LORD their God is with them; the shout of the King is among them.  22 God brought them out of Egypt; they have the strength of a wild ox.  23 There is no sorcery against Jacob, no divination against Israel. It will now be said of Jacob and of Israel, 'See what God has done!'  24 The people rise like a lioness; they rouse themselves like a lion that does not rest till he devours his prey and drinks the blood of his victims."
      Then Balak said to Balaam, "Neither curse them at all nor bless them at all!"
      Balaam answered, "Did I not tell you I must do whatever the LORD says?"
      "Look, if you can't say anything bad about them, don't say anything at all!  At this point I'm not ready to throw in the towel, but you've got to put yourself in neutral.   The way you're headed I am going to have to worry about you as much as about them.  I'm paying you to be on my side, but I'm beginning to think that they made you a better offer."
      To which Balaam mumbled something like, "Yeah, sort of - God offered not to kill me as long as I do what he says."
      Now I want you to note the role numbers play in this book of Numbers.  Balak, in an attempt to reduce the power of the sheer number of Israelites took Balaam to a spot where he could only see a small percentage of the whole.  [See v. 13]  Perhaps Balaam would be willing to curse a small percentage of them which certainly wouldn't be as big an affront to God as a curse on the whole of them.  In other words, or so Balak reasoned, partial disobedience isn't as bad as total disobedience.  But God saw through Balak's faulty logic.  After all, partial disobedience is disobedience.
      Well, it is easy to see the "great cloud of witnesses" on the other side of the divide laughing.  For the curse Balak desires is within his grasp and suddenly comes to naught.  But it's worse than naught, for the curse he longed for, and was willing to pay for, simply served to underline the blessings God had in store for his people.
      But Balaam's last conversation with Balak could have taken place in a Bud Abbott and Lou Costello movie, except for the fact that it led to what has become known as Balaam's error.  The conversation went like this:
      Balaam pulled Balak aside and said, "You know, not all is lost."
      "What do you mean, not all is lost" cried Balak.
      "Well, you could entice them to run with the wrong crowd."  Balaam advised.
      To which Balak answered, "They are the wrong crowd."
      "No," Balaam observed, "You're the wrong crowd."
      "We're the wrong crowd?"
      "Yes," Balaam said, "You're the wrong crowd.  You're always been with the wrong crowd which has made you the wrong crowd."
      "Now you're crowding me, " Balak replied.  "You telling me that my ancestor Lot ran with the wrong lot."
      "Yes, Lot had the tendency to hang out with the wrong lot which got him into a lot of trouble with the whole lot.  Which brings us back to seducing Israel into running with the wrong crowd.  It's guaranteed to work."
      "But," and here Balak scratched his head, "I thought they were the wrong crowd."
      Again, we see the role numbers play in this book on Numbers.  Balaam, as we could have guessed from Numbers 22, was really in the business of looking out for Number 1.  In the end, of course, it cost him everything.3


1     Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laugher, Simon and Schuster, Inc.,  386 Fourth Avenue, New York, 1936, p.  xv.
2     The philosopher Immanuel Kant observed the cause of laughter to be "The sudden transformation of a strained expectation into nothing."  Or as Max Eastman says, on p. 9, one of the causes of laughter is "reaching after something and finding that it is not there."  Like last week David Jimenez told us that "the weekend of October 6th would be a good weekend for us to paint my neighbors house - because he and Diane would be in Portland!"   He dryly led us in a certain direction only to leave us empty handed.  Of course, he did it playfully and in that context we responded playfully.
3     See Numbers 31:8 for the rest of the story.

THE JOY OF LAUGHTER                                             9/24/06    1

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