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THE DOMESTIC SCENE!
THE HUSBAND’S ROLE - PART II

On a tour of their local animal shelter, Bill and Liz were drawn to a scrawny German shepherd that had been severely mistreated by its previous owner. The dog was incredibly fearful and extremely wary. There was nothing about the dog that prompted anyone to give it a home. But Bill’s heart went out to the dog and he, after a brief discussion with Liz, decided to adopt it.
When they got it home it didn’t take long to discover that any fast action, any quick movement, sent the dog scurrying away with its tail between its legs. It was clear that what this dog needed more than anything else was a heaping dose of tender loving care over an extended period of time.

This, of course, was right up Bill’s alley. His love for dogs is such that this wounded dog would be showered with so much love that he would soon blossom into a joyful tail-wagging dog. Six months later, he was so transformed that the pound would have had a hard time recognizing him as the same dog they almost put to sleep.

Professor Higgins, as most of you will remember, was a master of elocution. Confident of his abilities, he wagered that he could take an urchin off the streets and transform her personality by simply teaching her the principles of proper speech. That is, he was confident before he met Eliza who was frivolous, impulsive, and hardly the sharpest knife in the drawer.
But, after months of exhausting work a metamorphosis began to take place. The impish urchin began showing signs of becoming a sophisticated young lady. What seemed to be an impossibility, the transformation of a dirty & unsophisticated street kid to an articulate lady with manners, became a reality.

But do these things really happen? Sure, it’s possible that an abused dog can be transformed into a joyful house pet. But, the movie My Fair Lady is a fairy tale. It’s just a movie. And while it strikes a chord within our hearts, a longing in each of us to be more beautiful than we are in reality, it is still just a movie.

However, Ezekiel 16 gives us hope that the love of another can transform us. While the movie version of My Fair Lady is fantasy, Ezekiel’s version is grounded in the truth of Scripture as it transforms someone from the rubbish pile of life to royalty. In the first half of the chapter, we read:
The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable practices 3 and say, `This is what the Sovereign LORD says to Jerusalem: Your ancestry and birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. 4 On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. 5 No-one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.
6 "`Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" 7 I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare. 8 "`Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine. 9 "`I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. 10 I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. 11 I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, 12 and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was fine flour, honey and olive oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. 14 And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.
Rejected by her parents, Israel is thrown out with the trash, unwashed and unloved. Death is inevitable. It’s an ugly and repulsive sight. But God loves the unlovely and here, through grace, he stooped down and rescued this abandoned child. He, though she couldn’t understand, invited her to live in his home where he would care for her and watch over her as she grew into a young lady.
Later, when she was ready for marriage, he claimed her as his own. He gave her a credit debit card to be used with no regard to what anything cost. She went to the best malls in town and purchased embroidered dresses, leather sandals, and the finest jewelry. And, she dined at the finest restaurants. This child who was once lost and destined for death, became the beautiful bride of a gracious King.

Everyone, of course, became aware of the stunning transformation. She walked by and others took note of her beauty. They went home and spoke of it and soon her fame spread among the nations.

This portion of Ezekiel tells us two things about beauty. First, it tells us that you can’t hide beauty. When God builds beauty into a person, a nation, or his creation it will be recognized and acknowledged by others. In regards to creation, a flower, a majestic mountain, or a magnificent grizzly bear, prompts us to pause and recognize, perhaps even acknowledge to ourselves, that this indeed is a beautiful planet. In regards to nations, the Queen of Sheba recognized and acknowledged that, under King Solomon, Israel had become a beautiful nation.

But God’s long-range strategy is to call forth a beautiful bride out of a war-torn world. Then, as the bride readies herself, as she radiates her beauty, others will be attracted to the one who made her beautiful. For you cannot hide true beauty. It will be noticed and talked about by our neighbors.

The second thing this passage tells us about beauty is that beauty is the possession and expression of the nature of God. God is the source of all beauty and, through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, His beauty is transferred to us. If the bride in Ezekiel 16 was beautiful, and she was, it was because God gave her His splendor.

In the New Testament, all believers possess this same splendor for all are indwelt by God’s Spirit. But, not all express it clearly. This is where the filling of the Holy Spirit comes in for while we have all of the Holy Spirit, we seldom allow the Holy Spirit to have all of us. But when we do, then our inner beauty is revealed to those within our world.

With this in mind, let’s take another look at the husband’s role as spelled out in Ephesians 5:21 - 33. We read:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

As noted last week, this passage commands wives to submit to their husbands. Furthermore, “subjection” is a military term which signifies a “standing under” the rank or position of another being. It gives positional-power to the husband. So if a husband wished to pick this passage up and mold it into the shape of a baseball bat there is enough material here to do so. But, in doing so he must ignore, to the peril of his family as well as himself, the bulk of the passage.

For the bulk of the passage focuses its attention on the role of the husband. And the first thing it says about husbands is that they are the “head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” This passage tells us that the “head of the wife” is the husband who has chosen to serve his wife and children. Yes, he is the leader. He is the “head” of the home. He is the one of prominence. He is the one responsible for whatever happens within the home. But, he exercises his leadership by truly serving those under his charge.

However, as you know by personal experience, serving others is sometimes self-serving. To avoid this we need to compare how we think we serve others with how they see us serving them, or how they would like to be served by us. In other words, are we on the same wavelength? As men are we really serving our wives or do we just think we are serving them? Do we really know what those under our charge need? How do we find out?

The second thing this passage says to husbands is to love our wives. It doesn’t command us to “rule” over them, as we might expect the passage to read, or as we might hope, it commands us to love them as Christ loved the church.
The Greek word used for love here is “agape.” It is not the word “eros” from which we get our word “erotic”; which is where we instantly fall in love with the package that has the proper dimensions, say 36-24-36. Nor is it the word “phileo” which grows out of sharing life together; this is where we find ourselves falling in love with the contents of the package. It is the word “agape” which is where we make a decision to “cleave” regardless of the shape of the package.
Joe Aldrich in his book Secrets to Inner Beauty, puts it this way:
“ The command for the husband to love (agape) his wife introduces the element of obligation. For sinful man, agape is both an “in spite of” response and a response to an obligation. If “feeling” is involved, it is primarily a feeling of “obligation.” This response to obligation begins in the will, not in the emotions. It says, “it is my obligation to sacrifice myself and my interests in behalf of the needs of another. I will do this in obedience to God whether I feel like it or not.” It is this kind of love that keeps a marriage together.”

Now why would we love our wives in that manner.? Why would we love anyone in that manner? Well, because we are commanded to love and as much as “submission” is a military word “command” is equally so. It is not an option, we either do it or we live in disobedience to a well-articulated command.

Second, we do it for the same reasons that Christ loves the church. It produces a beautiful bride. The desire of Christ for the church is that she would be presented before Him in splendor, in holiness, and without blemish. She, the church, is to be whole. She is to be complete, she is to have it altogether. She is to be attractive to the outside world.

In the same manner, we are to love our wives in such a way that she becomes everything God wants her to be in Christ. We are to give of ourselves so that she becomes beautiful and, as a consequence, attractive to those within her world.

How do we do it? First, we follow the example of Christ. We see to it that she is cherished. That she knows how special she is to us. We see to it that she is fed spiritually by the Word. We see to it that she is cared for everyday of her life. We see to it that she is protected from the world. We are to see to it that she senses our love every single day. And, we learn to be sensitive to her needs and act to meet those needs even when it means we need to sacrifice something to do it.
Second, we do it by taking care of ourselves spiritually. If I don’t sense that God loves me, and cares for me, I’m in no shape to love others. I need to know that I am loved before I can share God’s love with others.

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